They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize