Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
