Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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