Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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