I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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