I didn't shave. On purpose
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
well you can't waste a boner
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize