In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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