take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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