absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
