We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize