I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
