Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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