I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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