wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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