he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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