honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
