some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
