sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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