She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
