you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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