No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
