Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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