just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
