i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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