Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
