If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your penis caused this!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
