i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
