Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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