Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let's paint friendship bongs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
