maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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