So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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