i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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