Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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