whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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