paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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