He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
