Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
