Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize