i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So squirting runs in the family.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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