Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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