she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
