I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
