So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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