my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
