i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
