I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
