I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
