shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
