you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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