How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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