Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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