just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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