"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
