i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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