Having a random hookup so left but love u
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
