He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize