dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
