I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
