It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Terrible idea I love it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
