totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
